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It's a successful marketing strategy. Now, aged 49 and dealing with ongoing health problems, Madam Boob Slapper limits her daily intake to ten people. One slightly-built TV presenter's hopes for a bigger bust were dashed with the declaration, "No future! If a woman looked like she needed a hand, she'd offer to slap them. First taught the slapping technique by her grandmother, Madam Boob Slapper promises to lift and firm the selected area by increasing blood flow to the surface of the skin. Then, approaching me, she begins to wallop my eyes, my temples and my jawline in slicing motions like those used to finely chop onions. Emerald-flecked fake eyelashes arch over thickly painted brows; streaks of lemon and sky-blue-colored eyeshadow compete with the hot-pink of her lips.

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Miah. Age: 27.
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All the while she continues to dance.

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Penelope. Age: 20.
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Later, as she escorts me to the waiting taxi, she rushes to open its door. Then, approaching me, she begins to wallop my eyes, my temples and my jawline in slicing motions like those used to finely chop onions. She claims to count models and TV personalities among her clients, and her students have appeared on Good Morning America and The Doctors.

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