Things i put in my vagina

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By Courtney Enlow Lists July 18, Basically, people keep putting weird shit in their vaginas. Weird shit that should not go in vaginas.

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Even though I just went through such a major ordeal, I had never have felt so painless as I did when I realized I was at one with my body. A what-used-to-be-a-penis and was constructed into a vagina. Twelve months have passed now and every day is a new, exciting experience for me, although nothing compares to those first few minutes.

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Remember that scene in Broad City when Ilana sees police officers in the subway station, so she stashes her weed in her vagina? People with vaginas have attempted to smuggle or hide loaded pistols, Rolex watches, marijuana pipes, crack, lighters, money, cellphones, cigarettes, makeup, fireworks yes, reallyalcohol and a host of other drugs and stolen items in their hoo-has. Of course, few people would actually consider inserting things like loaded guns and fireworks inside their vaginas.

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Of all the things to put inside your vagina, garlic seems like it'd be pretty low down on the list of, uuuh, desirable objects. Well, apparently that sentence is a complete lie. Because people are shoving cloves of the stuff inside their vaginas. And, according to Dr Jennifer Gunter, a gynaecologist and New York Times columnist, this is a thing you should never, ever, ever do.

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I am talking about other foreign objects and strange practiceslike:. Jade eggs were once used by Chinese royalty to keep their peach in peak condition for their emperors and now have come back into fashion. They have been said to increase pleasure, energy, and balance — to your vagina.

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As far as terrible years go, pretty much takes the cake. From natural disasters to national disasters to the fact that Kylie Jenner STILL hasn't officially told us whether or not she's pregnant, this year has not been awesome. But alas, I come bearing some news that some people's was even worse than yours.

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But we keep trying to bring some really inappropriate things into the fun. While we may think it's exciting and kinky to be adding foods and shiny toys to play time, we really need to be a lot more careful about what goes in there, specifically, these ten things:. Begin slideshow.

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OVER the last few months a number of bizarre vagina trends have been doing the rounds. From the Gwyneth Paltrow—inspired steaming and jade eggs to random herbs and glitter, women have been giving their privates a bit of a battering. This week doctors warned that putting parsley inside your vagina is highly dangerous. This week it emerged women were attempting to kickstart their periods by putting parsley inside them.

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You won't believe what sex toys, lotions and creams, and other surprising items are on your vagina's sworn enemy list. Your vagina can bring incredible pleasure- this we know. But it can also feel significant amounts of pain if it's not taken care of correctly.

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When it comes to the wondrous, complicated, and thoroughly mesmerizing vagina, the most important thing to know is this: A healthy vagina is a happy vagina. Vaginas are a bit finicky and kind of bitchy. A lot of things make them mad.

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